Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Present Tense

"I can forgive everything and forget nothing"
five letters once weighed so much
when i was young
sounds connecting
a new song
light reflecting
a new picture
letters taking shape
a new verse
aromas evolving
a new love
soft skin turned to tiny speed bumps
love for texture
neurons firing exploding tangible
Discovery

no longer tangible
expected
calculated
meaningless

jaded
five letters now like the four letters of hello and the three of bye

8 comments:

  1. Did you follow any kind of set format when you constructed this poem? For example, did someone ask you to analyze a 5-letter word and compare it with a related three letter, then four letter word? I'm only wondering this because I'm always trying to look for new ways of writing. Reading your poem made me wonder what inspired it.

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  2. Tense which made me think of how the word sorry(five letters) weighs so little nowadays. It is like hello and bye. I find it intersting everytime someone uses the word and often how many times in one interaction. It can say a lot about a personality as well depending on their use of it in patterns.

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  3. I like how you begin and end your poem in a similar way, with the focus on the five-three letters. Also this line really stood out to me: "soft skin turned to tiny speed bumps"

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  4. i love all of your metaphors.Your piece thouroghly intrigues me.It makes me want to know more. To know the bigger pictures...whats between the lines.

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  5. The last lines were very striking:
    jaded
    five letters now like the four letters of hello and the three of bye
    It is a line that stays with me after I have read it.

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  6. Your poem reminds me of finding out what love is really about. The sultry hellos followed by confused, angry and premature goodbyes. All of it is truly a cycle. You really can't understand love without the full picture.

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  7. The part of the work that had the most impact was "neurons firing exploding tangible
    Discovery". I enjoyed the image these words formed in my mind.

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  8. The first line, "I can forgive everything and forget nothing" set up the theme of betrayal and apology, and really set a solid tone for the rest of the piece. I especially appreciated its relation to the stanza "no longer tangible, expected, calculated, meaningless." Nice job.

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