epistolary

Dear Boss,

Work has been quite unusual since you decided to go on your impromptu vacation. I know that a funeral might not constitute as the most relaxing getaway, but you are gone and I believe you are using up several sick days in order to visit with family.

First of all, the coffee maker is broken. Not broken in the sense that it won't make coffe, it will, but the alarm goes off at fifteen minute intervals, ruining the concentration of anyone who sits within a twenty yard radius (which, as you know, is everyone that works here). We have been keeping it in a box, under a blanket, locked inside the supply closet.

Secondly, Marcy and Dean have been at each other's throats for days now. Marcy thinks that a heavier quality of paper will make our personal business correspondence seem more impressive. Dean, however, believes that font and font color hold more sway psychologically. Unable to get them to compromise, I went ahead and approved both. We now have course, recycled paper with brown, old English letterhead. Due to the additional cost, we can no longer afford envelopes.

The office really misses you and your communication skills. Remember how you solved the debacle at last year's Christmas party? All of your mail is on your desk, messages have been sent to your inbox. I'm going to be sick for the week or so, a rare vitamin D condition which requires lots of sun and relaxation.

Have fun, come back soon.

N