Re(procrastination)vision

My biggest problem with revision is getting started. More often then not my writing comes in caffeine-fueled bursts at odd hours of the day (sometimes I like to get up at 7 a.m. and write or sometimes I like to stay up until 3 a.m. to get my writing done, I'm a morning person.). In short I sometimes find it difficult to write with purpose. This method (or anti-method?) has made me an expert in procrastination. I think part of this aversion to revision has something to do with fear; fear of what? Fear that instead of a story with a well-structured plot, interesting characters and superb dialogue I will open my laptop to find a big steaming piece of poop sitting innocently where my story should be (metaphorically speaking). After this realization that I in fact cannot write comes the stages of grief in rapid succession: Denial, what? who wrote this? not me! someone most have broken into my apartment and rewritten this, Guilt, oh God I'm going into debt to get a degree in creative writing what the hell was I thinking? someone out there deserves to be a creative writing major but not me...Anger/Barganing, OK Missy just revise a paragraph, one little paragraph isn't that bad, you're a goddamn creative writing major after all! then comes Depression, this is where I cut off all ties from the world telling friends and family alike "I have to revise" "No Grandma I can't come to your birthday party, I have to revise" "Sorry cute guy on the bus I can't go on a date with you, I have a lot of revision to do." Etc. And that's pretty much where the phases of grief stop in my procrastination trajectory (but wait that's only FOUR stages of grief, what about the other three? Well the last three stages of grief are: "The Upward Turn," "Reconstruction," and "Acceptance" which would lead to me revising and that would defeat the whole purpose of procrastination.). Being stuck in the 4th stage of grief often means I need some cheering up so obviously I have to look at pictures of baby animals or cats with funny stuff on them, I also have to google what the 7 stages of grief actually are. These mental gymnastics to get out of actually working and then going on to be a prolific writer and productive person in general can get pretty exhausting at which point I tell myself that maybe it's time to go to bed, but I can't becuase I've had like twenty cups of coffee in the hope that I would revise, so I can either clean my apartment or work on that craft project I've been putting off... speaking of which, there are some videos on Youtube I've been meaning to watch...